Sisters are brutal, especially older ones. They’ll rip you apart brick by brick, bringing up all the embarrassing things you’ve done when you were little, never letting you live them down. I mean you put yogurt on a sandwich one time! Whoever said having sisters was all giggles and fun was clearly an older sibling. Being the youngest of two sisters, you tend to get the short end of the straw, and sometimes it can get difficult. 

 Lucky for you, I’m an expert. 

1. Do what they ask you to NO questions asked.

If one of your sisters asks you to take their photo, you TAKE the photo. Even if you’re snuggled on the couch, wrapped up in blankets, or in the middle of a heated shootout in a video game. You put your sisters’ needs first because it is the trivial things like this that they remember, and when the time comes, they will eventually return the favor. So, take as many photos as she asks, and make sure to get her good side. If you’re eating dinner and putting your plate away, and she asks, “Can you fill up my water?” You fill up the water. Even if said water bottle, a blue hydro flask, dented from the millions of times it was dropped, takes three hundred years to fill, and she only takes three sips from it. Eventually, after years of  servitude, they stop taking you for granted and end up helping you more than you help them. They give you advice, drive you around, and take interest in your hobbies. Took a few years, but I finally got my duo’s partner. Now I just have to work on the other one. 

2. Write your name on your possessions.

I can’t count the number of times I bought a new bag of candy, put it in the closet, and found it emptied three days later. On top of that, the number of times I was gaslit into believing I ate it all. I know I ate a foot tall chocolate bunny in a day, but this was different. This time I KNEW I didn’t eat it. Signing your name on your food, chargers, or any other things you own that disappear is essential! And don’t be afraid to get really into it. I’m talking big bold letters, multi-colored markers, writing it 50 times on the smallest pack of gum to the big family sized bags of candy. Get creative and make sure there is NO mistake about whose candy that is. 

3. Obey the “What’s mine is yours” rule.

Sisters like to take things without asking. Like the fries on your plate, the last chicken tender, your slides to let the dog out (even though theirs are right next to them). No? Just mine? Instead of arguing about how many fries they stole, how they haven’t returned your clothing, or how they got your slides soaking wet and now you have to CHANGE YOUR SOCKS…Moving on…offer them some fries. Sure, you might lose a few, but they aren’t really stealing any more, and most of the time they will say yes to one fry, and then ask for another rather than just take. They might even deny the fry altogether. When you buy new clothing that they seem to take a liking to it too, tell them they can borrow it occasionally. They might wear it a lot more than you would like, but they always ask beforehand…Well, mostly. 

4. Shower time.

Showering time is crucial when it comes to avoiding conflict. First, you ask them what time they are planning on showering, and then base your shower around that. Whatever you do, AVOID saying, “I’m taking a shower.” This might clash with their times, and you’ll be stuck in a you go, no you go cycle. Don’t wait to take a shower later than 8 o’clock. Otherwise, you might as well just wait until tomorrow. Get all your nighttime routine done before they get in. Otherwise, you’ll never brush your teeth. Gross. A quick little tip: take quick showers. I’m talking 8-10 minutes tops. That includes getting in the shower, cleaning, drying off, and getting changed. Also, ALWAYS remember to clean up after yourself. Pick up the floor towel, dry any place water has dripped on, and clear all your stuff off the sink. Once you leave, there’s no going back in to get it.

5. Invention of the “While you’re up” rule.

Sisters are lazy. Like REALLY lazy. One second, they’re about to get up to wash their dish and notice you doing the same. What do you think they do? Offer to take yours? If you said yes, you’d be wrong, no one does this. Instead, they sit back down and hand their plate to you, giving you a smug look and a giggle. So now you’re stuck washing your plate as well as theirs. This rule can apply to anything. If you’re getting up to get a snack, they might ask you to bring them their air pods. If you come back from the bathroom, they might ask you to turn off the fan. So long as your legs are planted on the floor, they will ask you to get them things every time. There really is no way around it other than just saying, “Get it yourself,” or sucking it up. But heed my warning: Once it starts, it never ends. 

6. The Snapchat rivalry.

Snapchat is both a blessing and a curse. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my four years of having the app, it’s never – and I mean NEVER – take unwanted photos of your sisters. Anything could happen. You could be punched, you could be kicked, you could have the worst photo of you taken and posted on their story for tons of people to see. Funny filters are only funny when you’re the center of attention. The best way to manage this unwanted fame is to let them take their photos and have their laugh, because they won’t be laughing much longer. When your sister is distracted, scrolling through the endless number of filters, now is your time to strike. Put on a filter quickly, get her attention, and don’t just take a photo, but record it. Nothing is funnier than their reaction to the weirdest filter on the app replaying again and again, nonstop. So, they can keep their photos, because you have something even funnier that you ALL can laugh at. Take that!

I guess you could say sisters ARE fun. Well…in their own way. Sometimes, they do the most annoying things that we just have to endure, but the truth is, we’d rather have them in our lives than not. Sisters are your best friends for life, and who doesn’t love to annoy your best friend? Sometimes, though, I wonder if they really are my best friends. What was it my sister said the other day? Oh, right! “You’re like a pet.” That’s a sister all right. The highest compliment I ever received. 

Don’t let their nasty comments get to you, because in other words it’s how they say, “I love you.”